In our relationships, we often regret what has been said or done spontaneously without thought. Small outbursts of anger, petty disagreements, hidden frustrations, and a gradual evolving sense of alienation are the killers of interpersonal relationships. Carelessness, an offensive word, a few moments of anger can destroy a long-standing friendship and a happy marriage.
These little things are nothing more than unconscious learned reactions formed since early childhood. This means that relationships are influenced by past experiences, the media and stereotypes imposed by society. To avoid these pointless situations, you need to learn conscious self-reflection “here and now”, observe and recognize your inner experiences, emotions, thoughts and reactions. It is important to understand how reasonable your interpretations are, given that 95% of your interpretations of people and situations are incorrect.
Allow yourself to be yourself and the other to be different.
First, you must get to know yourself, answer the questions “who am I?”, “What does my heart want”, recognize your real needs and desires. By satisfying your true desires, you stop demanding from your partner. Refuse the intention to receive, replacing it with the intention to give. This way you will get what you have given up and learn not to impose your desires and expectations on others. It is important to learn to live in harmony with yourself, to hear your inner self. In this state, it will already be possible to build a full-fledged relationship and achieve your real goals. Allow yourself to be yourself and the other to be different. Refusing to satisfy your ego at the expense of another, thus creating a harmonious relationship.
In bookstores we can find many different psychological books on how to manage interpersonal relationships and influence others. Some people have improved their relationships and, therefore, their quality of life. Unfortunately, this psychology largely contributes to the development of hypocrisy, artificial communication: smile, pretend to listen, say what the person wants to hear, do not argue, ask the right questions etc.
If you do all this not from the heart, but in order to manipulate people for selfish purposes, then tactically you could win, but strategically you will lose.
Words and external behaviour - this is no more than 10 - 15%. The rest of a person's perception goes on an internal level.
You may have noticed that sometimes it happens that you communicate with a cultured person who smiles a lot, gives compliments, but after communicating with them there is some discomfort, and you do not want to communicate again and avoid meeting them again. Or the opposite.
The fact is that the main communication takes place at a subconscious level, and there we know everything about each other.
If a person has darkness inside, egoism, greed, envy, then no matter how they behave on the external level, long happy relationships, they will not be able to build, at best, temporarily charm.
The reality is true relationships begin at the soul level. After all, each of us wants communication "from the heart"?
If you communicate with people "from the heart", then your spouse will idolize you, friends, colleagues and relatives will greatly appreciate communication with you.
Your life will be filled with bliss, and success will become commonplace. You will never be alone; in trouble they will always come to your aid, in joy they will share your joy. Do you want this?
For this you need to achieve a higher state of awareness, be in unity with the creator, eternal infinite love where everything that surrounds us is divine. Divine love means to love everyone as a manifestation of the creator.
To become a self-sufficient person who respects both oneself and the rest, who does not have attachments, who understands that all relationships in this world are temporary.
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