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How well do you know ... yourself?  Can you say exactly who you are, "shaking off" the labels and stereotypes that others hang on you?  And if you have gone too far from yourself, what was the reason?

 Who are you? "," What are you? "," Your personality - what does it consist of? "  - I'm sure you are used to reading psychological literature and reflecting, which means you can calmly answer these questions without going into lengthy reasoning.  Each of us consists of experience, self-identification, our own past, talents ...

 All this is understandable.  But not in the last place on this list are “personalized problems”: complexes, fears, phobias, behavioral features, or even “flaws” such as aggressiveness or indecision.

 Are they also part of our personality, or not?  Let's figure it out.

 Portrait of the artist in his youth

 Many of us are convinced that circumstances shape personality.  Failure, pain, loss - they are all imprinted on our self and create what we like to call “character”.  Admirers of Freudianism and psychoanalysis in general will not fail to add to the list and education, and trauma, and all kinds of parental mistakes.  And with this, perhaps, you can not argue.  But the question remains open: is it worth living with this as an obligatory part of yourself?  To exist without going beyond the "set parameters", which take years of therapy to destroy? ..

 Everyone answers this question himself.

 There is no sense in looking for the guilty.  Parents?  Firstly, they are what they are, they have not read columns in psychological journals.

 Personally, I am sure that a person comes to this world for happiness and joy.  Read for life itself.  As a kid, he is trusting, open, loving, confident.  But then he grows and happens to him ... yes, in fact, life happens.  They said the wrong thing, compared it to the wrong one, here he blundered - and so on and so forth.

 And there is no point in looking for the guilty.  Parents?  Firstly, they are what they are, they did not read columns in psychological journals, they did not go to therapy.  Secondly, they could want the best, but due to their own anxiety, which they tried not to demonstrate, so as not to cripple your psyche, they did not give you love, and you grew up to be a restless person.

 It could also happen that the parents had to leave the baby in the hospital for some time.  There, unpleasant medical manipulations were performed with him - again, solely from the best intentions, in order to save his life and preserve his health - but in the end, his parents took the little neurotic back home.

 No one to blame

 Let's imagine twins for clarity.  One in childhood was bitten by a dog, and the other, say, licked, happily wagging its tail.  One got scared for life, the other became attached to the four-legged.  I am sure that such "prints of biographies" do not form character at all, but a kind of, relatively speaking, "illness."  Something like a rash on your face that doesn't show your true skin color.  And if one day you decide for yourself that you want to get rid of it completely, it is quite possible to do it.

 Just imagine: you can take and start living.  Not to exist, not to survive, not to adapt.  Do not look around fearfully: as if something happened.  Do not pull yourself back: well, where am I, with my abilities.  And just do what you like.

 Build relationships that are enjoyable, work where you are comfortable, where you are, do what you like, and get as much as you need.  And I am convinced that in order to achieve this, it is absolutely not necessary to reveal the past and remember all those dogs that have ever barked at you.  I propose something completely different: to learn to exist right now as a healthy person.  No pain and no problems.

 Start listening to yourself - today, now

 How to do it?  To begin with, ask yourself what you want for breakfast to sort out your taste preferences.  Asking the question: "If I don't feel like going to work again, am I doing what I have always dreamed of?"

 You can learn to build happy relationships only by being able to rip apart those that don't bring you joy.  You can start doing what you love simply by learning to isolate what you really like and what you do because it is "prestigious", "monetary" or "HR officials say this area will be on the rise."

 Start listening to yourself - today, now.  Your inner voice, your opinion, your desires and preferences are the only ones that you have.

 This is your life - live it the way you want it.

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